Russian Billionaires Brawl On Television

Former KGB Spy Turned Billionaire Beats Down Another Guest

Alexander Lebedev, owner of the Evening Standard and Independent newspapers in London, England, came to blows with another Russian billionaire, Sergei Polonsky, on national television. They were among a group of panelists having a discussion about the economy, when things became heated. Lebedev punched Polonsky twice, like they were Mayweather and Ortiz. Can you imagine if the guys from Google and Facebook did that. Instead of throwing punches, they'd be throwing calculators and I-Pads.

FBI Training Materials Instruct Agents: Muslims Are Violent People Worshiping Cult Leader Mohammed

FBI Director Robert S. Mueller

The FBI is on the hot seat this week, over leaked documents belonging to the agency, used to train agents. According to the FBI training materials, "mainstream American Muslims" are "terrorist sympathizers" and Mohammed is a "cult leader." The FBI describes all Muslim charitable giving to Islamic charities as donations to terrorism, described in the manuals as "Funding mechanism for combat." The FBI also teaches agents the more "devout" the Muslim, the more "violent" said person will be. Oh boy, this is not going to go over well with Muslims anywhere.

Based on documents contained in the current leak, the FBI views Muslims as "terrorists" or terrorists waiting to happen, lumping everyone in the religion in the same unflattering bunch. In essence, the FBI is stating, Muslims are criminals. Previously leaked documents published two months ago reveal, the FBI believes Muslims are archaic, non-modern Neanderthals still living according to, "7th century Arab ways."

Note To Self: do not walk anywhere near any FBI buildings in the foreseeable future.

STORY SOURCE

FBI Teaches Agents: 'Mainstream' Muslims Are 'Violent, Radical'‎

Reese Witherspoon Looking Banged Up After An Elderly Woman Hits Her With A Car During A Jog

Reese Witherspoon

"Valentine's Day" actress, Reese Witherspoon, is recovering after being hit by an 84-year-old woman behind the wheel of a car, while she was out for one of her paparazzi laden jogs. Thankfully, Witherspoon’s chin survived the accident (*mumbling* wow, that chin is indestructible).

However, Witherspoon sustained head injuries and has been sporting a knot on her forehead, with an accompanying black eye. Ouch! While driving with my dad once, a woman cut us off in traffic. This led my dad to humorously state, "No offense, but women can‘t drive." I’d say the golden girl that hit Reese just proved it.

Soulja Boy To The U.S. Army: F**k You

He's Really Done It This Time And It's Time For Rehab

Soulja Boy

Rapper, Soulja Boy, famous for the song "Soulja Boy" has slammed U.S. soldiers in his new song "Let's Be Real." The lyrics of the song state, "F**k the FBI and the army troops... fighting for what? Be your own man... I'll be flying through the clouds with green like I'm Peter Pan." If he is not careful, the army is going to turn him into Soulja Girl. It's time to leave the drugs alone.

Soulja Boy grinning for the camera

The Judiciary Report is certainly not Team FBI and you know why, so I'm going to ignore what he wrote about them. It's quite telling the public is not defending the FBI, but has spoken up in defense of the troops. The soldiers are dying over something they did not start, but were conscripted into. I do not agree with any of the wars in the Middle East, but the majority of the soldiers do not seem to want to be over there either.

Is that a diamond encrusted car on your chain. Negro, no! Remove and sell the diamonds, then invest the money in a good CD (that's a certificate of deposit at the bank, not an album). At least then you'll get some interest.

Blame the policymakers, such as former President Bush and Vice President Cheney for starting and perpetuating the wars for years and President Obama for dragging his feet in ending it and bringing the soldiers back home to their families. The wars need to end, but destroying the soldiers' morale is not the way to do it, because the hard reality is, thousands of them have died and over a million civilians as well.

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Mark Halperin Calls President Obama A Di*k On Television

Barack Obama: no he didn't!

This has not been a good month for U.S. President Barack Obama. The economy is in the toilet and continues its downward spiral and polls in America indicate any of his rivals in the Republican party would beat him if the presidential election were held today.

Now comes word that journalist Mark Halperin called Obama a "di*k" on live television. Halperin has been suspended from the network indefinitely. If it had been two and a half years ago and Dick Cheney was still in office, this really would not be a problem, because that's his name.

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Rosie Huntington Whiteley Is Receiving Bad Reviews For Transformers

Surprise! Surprise!

Michael Bay, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Shia LaBeouf

Reviewers are slamming Megan Fox's replacement in the "Transformers" film, Victoria Secret model, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. The reviews are not pretty. The main one comes from the Daily Mail in Whiteley's home country of England. However, the review isn't exactly groundbreaking. The Daily Mail stated two days ago that Whiteley is no Winslet, while three months ago, the Judicial Report stated she is no Weisz.

Megan Fox was seen sporting a depressed look on the eve of the Transformers 3 premiere (Photo Credit: RPA)

I could have told director, Michael Bay, this would happen. Oh wait, but I did...last year (Megan Fox Replacement Looks Uncomfortable On Set). I write screenplays and have filmed items as well. One look at Whiteley's expressions in the pre-release stills had me giggling. She had the same expression I do when I see my bank statements (confused and used):

Shia LaBeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley last year, looking confused

In other pre-release stills, Whiteley had an off topic dumb blonde expression, even though she is not.

This still didn't help Whiteley's case either, as she looked like she was in over her head

Then I saw the first trailer a few weeks ago and she looked even more confused (and the giggling continued). No so much at Whiteley, but at Bay for being an unprofessional, horny toad that directs with his penis (there are other directors out there just like him). This is why his films are so superficial and full of explosions - it's because of what's going on in his pants.

Side Bar: Didn't they screen test Whiteley. Where is her screen test? Oh wait, that's right, she showed up in see through underwear and got the job via said method, making her screen test x-rated and not safe for respectable viewing audiences.

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A Majority Of Americans Feel They Were Better Off Before President Obama

Barack Obama

In another stunning wake up call from the populace, polls indicate, Americans overwhelmingly feel there were financially better off 2 and a 1/2 years ago, before Barack Obama took office as President of the United States. Polls also reflect the Republican party are ahead of Obama and his fellow Democrats, in the lead up to the 2012 election.

Let this be a lesson to all current and future heads of state, you cannot spend your way out of debt and into prosperity. You also cannot spend away your global lead through reckless financial decisions, as it will lead to poverty and financial collapse. Moderation is always best. Success it is gained and maintained through hard work, sacrifice and prudence.

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Japanese Scientists Create Edible Doo Doo Steaks

When I think science, I have inspiring thoughts of diseases being cured. Not people making burgers out of poo. However, Japanese scientists have done just that. They've synthesized excrement, making steak out of doo doo. I'm at a loss for words. A "turd burger." Really, now. I've heard of pooh sticks, not poo steaks.

I'm all for recycling, but not like this. I think I'll pass on this one. I would also hate to be on the marketing team trying to come up with the ad plans for it. And to think people are complaining about Ronald McDonald, when this was looming.

Most people have had a few meals in their lifetime and left the table figuratively thinking it tasted like doo-doo. But for the first time, they would not be exaggerating. I don't know how anyone could swallow such a thing, when in the back of their mind, they knew where it came from (the back of their butt). What's for dessert? toilet paper?

Side Bar: On a somewhat related note, did you know it was discovered, Al Qaeda members found out if you eat your poop, you'll die (yes, geniuses, I know). To avoid torture, this became an option for them when Dick Cheney was Vice President and George W. Bush was in charge.