Will Ashton Kutcher Cheat On Demi Moore Even More With New Sitcom Job

"Two And A Half Men" Role Means More Groupies

"Two And A Half Men" with Charlie Sheen (second from the left)

Will Kabbalah member Ashton Kutcher, 33, cheat on his wife, Demi Moore, 49, even more, due to his new job on the CBS television show "Two And A Half Men." Kutcher, who couldn't act his way out of a paper bag, replaces seasoned comedic actor, Charlie Sheen, who is also in Kabbalah.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Suffering from Kabbalah induced psychosis, Sheen lost the plot and went on a series of bizarre rants, repeatedly spewing the cult's nonsensical and destructive lingo, which shocked the public. He even attacked the makers of the show "Two And A Half Men" who paid him $2,000,000 per episode as the sitcom's leading star.

Demi Moore

Kutcher, like Sheen, is a playboy that has a penchant for bedding young women, in spite of their marriage vows. Kutcher was publicly humiliated last year for cheating on his wife with two women. Being given a role on the top sitcom in the nation will increase his visibility...and infidelity.

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Charlie Sheen Used Steroids for "Major League" Film Role

Charlie Sheen, the star of the classic 1989 baseball movie "Major League" admits in the new Sports Illustrated "Where Are They Now" issue that he used steroids to boost his fastball for the film, according to the New York Daily News.



Talk about method acting.  Is this what Sheen meant when he says Tiger Blood runs through his veins?

"Let's just say that I was enhancing my performance a bit," admits Sheen.  "It was the only time I ever did steroids.  I did them for like six or eight weeks.  You can print this, I don't give a f---.  My fastball went from 79 to like 85."

"Wild Thing" would have approved.

The actor carried over his portrayal of the wild and crazy "California Penal League" pitcher, Ricky Vaughn, from the film set to his personal down time during the shoot.

Sheen's character sported a lightning bolt haircut and, combined with Vaughn's nasty stuff on the mound and 'roid rage, made Wild Thing a cult figure and the most popular and enduring character in the movie about a down-and-out Cleveland Indians team.

The then-22-year-old Sheen said the character didn't make him a winner off the set and his juicing only intensified his rage.  Sheen said he stopped using the drug after the actor got into too many confrontations.

"I didn't like the haircut because it generated so many comments in bars.  I've got  enough of that already," said Sheen.  "Add that to the mix, and it's a recipe for a fistfight."

Drugs and Charlie Sheen, what a shock.  What no Goddesses?

And I thought Sheen's portrayal of a 'roid-raging pitcher was just good acting.

Charlie Sheen In Talks For New Sitcom

Charlie Sheen (seated to the front left) and the cast of "Two And A Half Men"

Troubled actor, drug addict and alcoholic, Charlie Sheen, who was recently fired from the top rated sitcom "Two And A Half Men" is reportedly in talks for a new show. Well, there's a scary prospect, especially if he has creative control. Sheen has been replaced on "Two And A Half Men" by the unfunny and nutty, Ashton Kutcher.

Ashton Kutcher's mommy wife is cougar Demi Moore and both members of the religious cult Kabbalah, which is under criminal investigation

Sheen is still struggling with mental illness, namely schizophrenia, which led to him being fired, after strange and well publicized outbursts, alerted the public to his problems. The producers of "Two And A Half Men" and the studio behind it, decided to fire him on a morality clause. It remains to be seen if the show will suffer due to the dismissal, but one thing is certain, Kutcher is not a good actor, where Sheen could at least claim acting ability.

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Ron Artest Bringing Comedy Act To New York City

Ron Artest is preparing to take us into his wacky world of weirdness and whimsy by bringing "Ron Artest - The Ultimate Comedy Tour" to New York City this summer.  The Los Angeles Lakers small-forward will host four comedy shows at Caroline's on Broadway on July 15 and 16.

Right after getting swept by the Dallas Mavericks, it seems only natural for Artest, the Queens, NY native and the NBA's reigning class clown, to come home and try his hand at making people laugh with him and not at him.

After all,  his embarrassing play in the second-round playoff was pretty comical.  Taking a cue from that other L.A. funny man Charlie Sheen, the well-traveled basketball star might now want to call his show "Losing."

The 31 year-old Artest could even take the show on the road.  Lord knows he's already made controversial stops with the Bulls, Pacers, Kings and Rockets.  What's another Laugh Factory in Toronto? Detroit would be a blast.  Just imagine the heckling when he reminds Piston fans about the 'Brawl in the Palace.'

The out-spoken former-St. John's star is no stranger to the spotlight or making us laugh--mostly unintentionally.  Here's a sampling of his off-the-backboard humor.

When he joined the Lakers, Artest took '37' for his jersey number as a tribute to Michael Jackson whose "Thriller" album was "#1 on 'Billboard' for 37 weeks."  Cerebral stuff.   Reminds me of Steven Wright.

Then there was the one about thanking his shrink on national TV, right after the Lakers won the NBA Championship last year.  Richard Lewis anyone?

If Artest doesn't tickle your funny bone, he may break it.  Just ask the Mavericks little J.J. Barea how a Ron Artest punchline--I mean clothesline--feels.

With his Queensbridge Projects upbringing, Artest's comedy-stylings might be a little bit more rough around the edges than edgy.  It's an acquired taste.  Like Carrot Top on steroids.

The small forward's comedy goddesses will include local morning radio DJ's and pals according to the New York Daily News.  No porn stars or hookers in this extravaganza--just a laff-riot.   Hey, here's one.  What do the Lakers and a Japanese steak house have in common?  They both have aged Kobe.  Pure gold, Jerry, pure gold.

We can only hope that Artest starts rapping during the show.  Now, that would be really hilarious.

Where's Shaq when you need him?  No, Really.  Where is he?