Mass Fish Deaths Do Not Bode Well For Chicago Bears

Thousands of small dead herrings are floating up on the lakefronts in Chicago.  The latest case of unexplained mass-animal deaths are puzzling environmentalists but, even more importantly, it should worry the Chicago Bears who face the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday.  If I were a betting man, I would check out the following facts.

Over the past few months, and mostly the past few weeks, the bizarre events of mass-animal deaths have plagued the country and world---just in time for the time for college bowl games and the NFL playoffs.  And the results are monumentally odds-breaking.

Never mind what the scientists and religious zealots preach, ask your local bookie what he thinks of all the "prophecies."  Since December 30, there have been four major mass-deaths and they seem to have affected the outcome of important games involving the regional team.

Go back to December 30 and 31 when 100,000 fish were found dead in an Arkansas river and then over 5,000 red-winged blackbirds fell from the sky.  Four days later the Arkansas Razorbacks (-3 1/2) almost upset Ohio State in one of the greatest comebacks in Sugar Bowl history but lost after their QB threw a pass right into the arms of a Buckeye defensive end and lose, 31-26.  A double whammy.

Fast forward to January 3 when 2 million dead fish were found floating in the Chesapeake Bay.  The next night Virginia Tech (-3 1/2) is routed by Stanford.  It's not even close.

On January 4 about 500 more blackbirds are found dead in Louisiana.  I don't have to remind you about  how the defending world champions, the New Orleans Saints fared against double-digit under dogs, the Seattle Seahawks.  The 41-36 win by the Seahawks (7-9) was one of the biggest upsets in NFL playoff history.

Now those same Seahawks come into Chicago as 10-point underdogs on Sunday and the ominous dead gizzard shad have appeared lifeless on the Windy City's beaches and shores.  Just wait for the point spread to shrink.

Over the past few months, the "Aflockalypse" has occurred in other areas and look at the results.

2,000 dead bats show up cold as Dixie beer in Texas.  How 'bout them 'Boys?

Thousands of ducks mysteriously die in Minnesota and you can look back at the Vikings' tumultuous season.  Oh, and you thought it was Brett Favre's fault.

The Carolina coastline was covered with millions of jellyfish and starfish which inexplicably ended up dead before the football season even started.  The Panthers never had a chance.

There was even the horrible sight of thousands of turtle doves falling from the skies over Italy right after the holidays.  Italian zoo officials blamed the birds deaths on "massive indigestion" after overeating.  Here in America, we call it the "Rex Ryan Syndrome."  Other experts believe it was mass suicide after the seasonal birds couldn't find work after the 12 Days of Christmas.

Scientists have blamed the mass-deaths on everything from the North Pole's magnetic field to that old apocalyptic panic button--global warming. In New York, Mets fans blame it on the Yankees.

Even so, if the Chicago area doesn't want any more mass-deaths ( i.e. fans jumping out windows) on their hands, don't bet on the home team.

Maybe some Almighty above is trying to tell us something with these unusual occurrences.  Something all mankind should heed:  Take the Seahawks and ten points.